OR AN G E.

RIGHT now..
Listening to: CHRNO CRUSADE, since zheng's watching it.
Eating/drinking: some popcorn. perhaps bread and butter soon. lol
Reading: the chinese book that's required for school. shucks i'm still where i'm at a few weeks ago. -.-
Feeling: half dead. pass the rejuvenation potion please.
Thinking about: wow i am that bochup. lol
Doing: no idea.

white & black
written on 15.05.2004, at 10:38 p.m.

She passed away yesterday. It came to me of a slight shock, but i guess i saw it coming. Attended the wake earlier at eight in the evening. There they were, singing songs and talking about her. I don't know... I'm not that close to her. OK so maybe she did take care of me when i was younger but i can't seem to remember very much. One or few blurry images but thats about it. Mom's face was red around the eye and nose area. She kept on crying and crying.. Someone crys when they are sad, don't they. But to me crying doesn't really solve the problem. She's gone away to be with the Lord and will live forever in our memories. Yes, that should be it. A place far better than this earth we now reside in. I'm not a Christian but thats what they believe in. (And it should be true too) I sigh silently for awhile but on the outside my mood doesn't change. Its still the same.

I questioned my aunt and my father whats the meaning of life. My aunt said it was a life cycle etc but i wasn't really listening closely. As for my father, he didn't really answer the question (he was talking to others). Don't know... i think i should go and read those books on enlightenment at temples. Hopefully it'll give me better understanding.

Got to go, Zheng wants to use the computer liao. Later..

looking back - looking forward ____________________________________________________